Still recovering from heart break

For the last few weeks I've been feeling like Bella. You know, after Edward left her in New Moon. Those days... weeks... months... when she could hardly leave the house. When she lived with her arms wrapped around her chest just to keep her heart from bursting out of her body. Well, I miss my grandma that much. Nothing seems the same without her and although I don't cry everyday anymore it is still hard to breath.
I am trying to get back into my regular life though. I'm looking for my Jacob, just someone to distract me. And if he happens to be really, really HOT so be it! AND if it happens to be someone who falls totally in love with me, I'm willing to take one for the team.
So, it may take me a while to get back into the groove but I'll get there and I have to thank each of you for standing by me.
(((((HUGS)))))

Sisters... the gift that keeps on giving

Apparently my butterfly story is not rare. Since my butterfly posting friend and TM sisters have shared some amazing stories with me. I've heard stories, gotten card after card, and been able to share this gift my grandma has given me. For those without their own story, they have shared these past two weeks with me and have embraced the beauty of my butterflies too.
So, I've decided to mark this moment in my life with another kind of gift. It's one I am very fond of and have been blessed with more then once before. I am getting a tattoo. Of course my butterflies will be there, Two white ones I think...they will be the focus. I would like to add some of my Twi-love to it too though. I have been thinking a lot of the quote, " I promise to love you every moment of forever" but that is a lot of writing... I've thought of chess piece representing Bella's change... but that doesn't excite me either. I've though of having the butterflies flying over, or landing on, purple flowers like the ones in the meadow, but I'm not sold. And of course anything with feathers would just make me giggle...so far nothing has quite fit.
I have faith something will come to me when the time is right and so I wait...

Family and friends

Family and friends have been sending their love making this hard time more bearable. The loss of my grandmother reminds me that enjoying life really IS important. I know my grandmother is watching over me glad I'm writing and finding my passion. Somehow at this time of loss I find inspiration in that and it helps me keep going.
Easing back into life.
More soon.