A different kind of gift

My grandmother and I have always been very close. Since I became a mom 15 years ago we've become even closer. I also live 2 minutes away from her house and have been her little errand girl for some time now. Well, with her passing I had one of those Ah-ha moments yesterday that kind of helped me.
Before my grandmother passed this weekend we had been talking about how we had been thinking about my Great Aunt Helen who had passed. She kept thinking she was seeing my aunt out of the corner of her eye, and was dreaming of her so much it was really standing out in her mind. That very day I had seen a flitter of white out my bedroom that looked like a white butterfly. But when I looked nothing was out there. Then when I walked into the kitchen the same thing happened again out the back door. For some reason that made me think of my Aunt Helen. Then when she passed we were picking out her outfit and I told my mom and Aunt we should bury her with a purse and her makeup, and some other fun things. What bag did I happen to find first, one covered in Butterflies. Then my Aunt had me try on a ring and asked me to wear it for her since it didn't fit her and it is an Opal and gold butterfly. (Opal was my Grandmas birthstone.) Around this time I finally said, OK Auntie Helen I get it and laughed to myself. As I am telling my family this story I see another butterfly over my Aunt's shoulder. Later my DD opened a jewelry box and found 4 or 5 butterfly pins. What was so weird is this must be all the stuff she had in the whole house because she wan't really a butterfly person. I never thought of either my Aunt or grandmother that way but it all started when my Grandma and I were talking about my Aunt.
So, I've decided that was my sign and somehow as sad as I am that makes it a heck of a lot easier thinking my Aunt was there waiting for her.

Due to my grandmother passing, I'll be taking a break from the blog for a few days. Thank you all for your well wishes and understanding.

Fantastic FanFic!

One of my Christmas in July packages included a story that one of the TM's wrote. She did a fantastic job and it was great! Her story is based on the characters in The Twilight Saga and takes place after Breaking Dawn has ended. It involves a gift Bella gives Edward and the path that takes them on to in an attempt to give him a look at his human life. I was one of four people to have the honor of getting a copy, and one of four people to ever read the story.
Stories like this are considered "fanfiction". Since I don't know a lot about fanfiction I decided to look it up. This is what I got from Wikipedia,
"Fan fiction (alternately referred to as fanfiction, fanfic, FF, or fic) is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. Works of fan fiction are rarely commissioned or authorized by the original work's owner, creator, or publisher; also, they are almost never professionally published. Fan fiction, therefore, is defined by being both related to its subject's canonical fictional universe and simultaneously existing outside the canon of that universe.[1] Most fan fiction writers assume that their work is read primarily by other fans, and therefore tend to presume that their readers have knowledge of the canon universe (created by a professional writer) in which their works are based."
As I searched for fanfiction I found whole sites dedicated to these stories and some for specific book, movie and TV series like Harry Potter, Star Trek and Twilight. What I think is so cool about these stories is that they are giving thousands, and thousands of people the opportunity to write freely with characters they already adore. What was special about the story my creative friend wrote was she actually incorporated a variety of characters from more then one series together to create a history for Edward. It was absolutely the most clever combination of ideas I can imagine, and I thank her for sharing her gift with me.

A Twilight Christmas in July!

Yesterday, was finally the celebration of Christmas in July! About a dozen of us from all over the world got online and opened our exchange cards and presents together! It was so fun to laugh and talk while being able to instantly see what everyone else got. It was great to see their faces when they opened a present from me and it was even more fun getting to open all my presents in front of them! It felt just like a real Christmas.
What I loved about the gifts was how much thought, time and love when into each of them. Between the handmade cards and crafts, gifts picked out specifically with me in mind, and the stories shared it just reminded me of how much I adore these women. It also reminded me that even though I've never met some of these woman in person, they really are my friends. They know things about me that even people who see me at work everyday don't know. They know the goofy things I LOVE and the stupid things that drive me crazy. They listen to me and have nothing but advice and kind words when things are hard and are thrilled for me when things are good.
It's a different kind of friendship then I have with my friends who live here. It's not better, or worse, or any less real... just different. I think for a lot of people who don't use the resources on the Internet to meet this way it can come across weird or somehow less genuine, but what a better way to meet people with your same interest then this? And I don't think there could be a better way to make the world a little smaller and more friendly.
And before I go for the day I have to sent out a special thanks to MJ, CCG, TD, and The Hale family, for thinking of me!

When meeting the stars is in the stars

Now I'm not one to get all hot and bothered over a "star" so this little "Krush" I have on Kellan Lutz is a little new and a bit weird to me. I've met rockstar after rockstar, and a handful of movie stars too, and pretty much nothing. Maybe a short conversation or a drink at the bar and a few autographs but that's it.
Oh, there was the next door neighbor in San Francisco, that was the basest for that rock band... OK, I'll admit it, I was impressed with her. When I walked into her apartment for the first time she had gold and platinum records hanging on the wall over her couch and photos of her with, if I remember correctly, The Rolling Stones. To my surprise she was not in some little garage band, touring churches, dive bars and playing anywhere they could get a free meal. I wonder what ever happened to her???
Anyway, This last spring I thought I had died and gone to Twi-nerd heaven. I went to a Twilight convention! -I know, I know... It's hard to look "normal" when you are going to any kind of convention that involves characters from a book, TV show or movie. So, here I am breaking the news to you all now...I've never been standardly "normal" by almost anyones definition.- OK, I knew it would be nerdy and fun, so for my first vacation away from my kids this was right up my alley.
I drove down to Los Angles with a friend and we had a blast. By Saturday night, we both had to admit we were having WAY more fun then we thought we were going to. Then there was Sunday... rather then try to explain what that day was like I'm just going to let you read what I wrote for my TM sister that Sunday night.

Honestly for the first time in my life I had a total fangirl moment, of course it was with Kellan! I've met many musical and movie stars and he absolutely stole my heart. He was so sweet and friendly I was actually taken aback!
When I first met him I was there in the morning to get my picture taken with both him and Peter. Before the photo he stopped for a minute to check out the necklace I was wearing. (It had a picture of Bella and Edward at prom on it.) He asked about it being a picture of "Rob" and I told him how one of my Twilight Mom friends made it for me. What struck me was that he really stopped to take a second and notice such a little detail and connect with a fan.
Then he had his interview session with (and then without Peter). God, if I was just 12 years younger... he is absolutely dreamy!!! He comes across so positive and loving. It didn't matter if he was talking about his dog Kevin, or his grandparents in Arizona, he spoke with such passion and tenderness.
Finally, I went to the "brunch" with both of them... The open seat at our table was next to me. Once I realized that was where they would both be sitting I was thrilled! So, Peter came to chat and he was great! I had made baseball cookies with "Cullen" written on them and he was super into them. I had made about 150+ cookies (6 different designs) for this event and some of them had found their way to the green room. Well, I guess cookies were the right move on my part because his kids where there and loved them, and he actually wanted to take the ones on the table with him when he left. Of course I said yes and told him I actually had a whole bag of them for him in my room that I had planned to bring down later during the signing for him. He seemed pleased as punch.
Then Kellan came and sat down with us. He was also into the cookies and when I gave him the bag of them he asked if he could open one up. Of course I said yes but also offered him a piece of mine that I had already broken into. So, he reached over broke off a piece and popped it into his mouth. From there we sat knees touching under the table chatting away. First, who wants to guess where that cookie is right now? LOL! I'm not going to keep it forever but I had to show my 14 year old. Second, Normally if I was sitting knees smashed up against some man under the table (and yes it was crowded, I wasn't just being creepy) I would go out of my way to move but since it was him, and he didn't make any effort to move, I just sat there and enjoyed the moment. The best part was before he left he took a second to sign my Twilight book. He wasn't able to stay for signing in the afternoon and he really wasn't signing anything for anyone else but in a quick moment before he moved onto the next table grabbed my pen and signed away.
He was just a doll!!! My heart now beats a little faster for Kellan!!!

And the cookie, I'll admit it, it is still here. I don't seem to have the heart to toss it... Oh, but here it is preKellen :)

The package came... empty!

Well, the mailman came and the package was delivered, ripped open and empty. The postman had no idea what to do so I called the post office. Frank, at the post office was very sweet and was able to give me the 800 number to place a report, but told me to call him back if I needed help. I called the 800 number and gave the woman there my info so she could place a report. The report goes to the recovery center and so should any stray items. When I asked the woman what my actual chances were of getting my item back she said there was no way to tell but that was "the purpose of the recovery center."
So, what did I do next? I sent a facebook message to Saint Anthony and Saint Nicholas of Japan. I just asked them to help my book find its way back to me. It can't hurt right! Then I went into the Twilightmoms site and posted a request to the Scribe Virgin. Yes, she is from another series of books but it can hurt can it? And so like Santa, the Toothfairy, and the Easter Bunny I believe!
I believe this gift from Stephenie, my Japanese Twilight will find me.

I think I've become a stalker!

Dear Mr. Mailman...
Just in cast you didn't know I'm home waiting for you!
I'm waiting for you to come see me!
I'm waiting for you to bring me my newest Twilight book!!!
I'm sure you'll bring it today... won't you?
PLEASE???
Pretty, please with sugar and a cherry on top?
Recently one of my Chicago Twilight Mom (TM) friends (A) heard about my collection on her way to Japan. So, she offered to pick a book up for me to add to my collection. She is home now and mailed out the book last week. Of course as excited as I am, it's killing me to wait. She shipped 5 other packages the same day she shipped my book and all 5 other people got their packages in the mail yesterday. One package even went all the way to England and got there yesterday too, and yet I'm still waiting... I just look out the window waiting and waiting and waiting...
To add salt to the the wound, I am also participating in a TM Christmas in July card exchange. Can you guess how many of my 5 packages have come? NONE, that's right NONE!!! So, I am waiting for them too! BUT, I know it's actually a gift that they haven't come. You see, I know myself well enough to know I would have gone crazy by now if 5 different packages were sitting here for weeks on end waiting to be opened. -We don't get to open them until the 25th of July.- But still each day I wait. Where is that mailman? Isn't it 3:00 PM yet??? I am really tired of WAITING!

It's hard to explain!

I have lots of Twimom friends who totally indulge my passion for all things Twilight, especially my little "Krush on Kellan". My family just accepts my Twi-love as one of my charming eccentric characteristics. But then I have to go out in the "real" world where not everyone understands... it's sad to have to hide this part of who I am and the passion I have because others are so judgmental. It's hard to have people question my character because they don't understand Stephenie's. It's even harder when those people are my friends...
With my chin up I move forward. I will live my life with no apologies! And the little voice inside my head is that of my grandmother. She is reminding me how short life is and telling me to Be Happy! Can anyone really blame me if Stephenie's stories, my Twilight Moms and Kellan Lutz makes me happy? I mean if nothing else have you all seen Kellan Lutz?
So, grams... I am trying to live my life and be happy. To bad so many others feel the need to judge and criticize others just to get by day by day. Clearly, they don't know the love of Stephenie's gift.

Thank you!!!

This sweet treat is for all of you!!! That's right just for you! I made this cake being inspired by the one in the New Moon book for Bella's 18th birthday. You see I started this blog not knowing if anyone would ever look at it. I really... really, wondered if I would be writing for anyone other then me. So, tonight as I logged on wondering just what it was I was going to right and who would be reading it, I saw that there are now 11 of you following my story. Now, after just two weeks I see Stephenie's gift was even greater then I imagined. She's now also brought me you!
I hope you all check in as you can and comment when the mood strikes you. I love to hear other peoples stories and know when I've struck a cord with someone else.
For tonight though it is late. My Twi-dreams are awaiting me and so is my soft warm bed. BUT... before I go I must thank you all for joining me on this new adventure. I hope I make it worth your while!

Being a Swan mean being a Cullen

In my home family IS the most important thing. My kids, parents, grandparents, neighbors, friends and four legged furries are all family. The Cullens don't have any four legged furries and their family circle is much smaller then mine. When Edward brings Bella home though and then out to play baseball with his family, in a moment they have to decided if they put themselves on the line for her or will protect her. It's almost as if they don't even thing about it. It just is... she is their family now.
The gift of unconditional love is rare. Often the gift of love is unspoken but assumed... But last night I picked up my darling 15 year old daughter up from the airport after 19 days in Europe and all I could feel my love for her bursting out of me. I was glowing! Like Bella is to Charlie, my daughter will always be my Bella. I don't need to know everything about every part of her life, but like Charlie, I'll be there no matter how crazy things get; even if she marries someone just like Edward Cullen. (If she could only be so lucky!)
And how did I know she loved and missed me... how did she tell me?
She brought me a new copy of Eclipse from Amsterdam in Dutch!
No one knows me better then my girl!

Yes, I cried...

I'm trying to remember of just how many times I've cried reading the Twilight books and watching the different movies. I just can't put a number on it... What I can tell you is that 99% of those tears were shed reading or watching New Moon. The first time I saw one of those pages with nothing other then a month of the year written on it I could hardly breath! When I saw that same scene on the big screen acted out by Kristen Stewart, I sobbed. I think every heartbreak I'd ever lived though, but especially the most recent one, was relived each time I experienced that moment with Bella. But unlike Bella, I didn't make it to the clock tower on time...

When something other then bills come in the mail!

Day in, Day out.... bills, junk mail and other reasons not to check the mail box. Since I've found my sisters though, I find myself rushing home to see what's come each day. Just yesterday I was sent five new Pocket Kellan's!!! -Thank you ATG!- Today to my delight, my 33rd copy of Twilight came! This one's from England! -Thanks TW!- I've come to realize that the generosity of my sisters is endless! In exchange for all this love, and the many treats they've send me, I've developed my own card and gift crafting talent. I love to send off little Twi-gifts in the mail. I know when they get to their intended destination, to the lovely lady who I made it for, it will put a smile on her face and she will feel the love that my gift was sent with.
Since I don't have photos ready of the gifts I received this week I thought I would post some of the other recent gifts I've sent and been sent over the past few weeks. This will show you the variety of talents these moms have and the love we share.


This is an example if what I sent for the Eclipse Premier Exchange.


A beautiful handmade quilted square sent to me for Mother's Day


I made this little treasure for one of my TM friends.

Making new Twifriends

Yesterday Beth and I went to see Eclipse. -This is the two of us with our "Pocket People" TwilightMom friend Makia and favorite Twistar Kellan Lutz.- The neat thing about seeing Eclipse with Beth was that she had to fly out to California from Kentucky to see it with me. Beth is actually a friend I have made online through TwilightMoms.com. I actually met Beth in a chat forum. She was posting about a surprise second honeymoon & 10 Year Anniversary trip she was planning for her and her dear husband. I offered to help with anything they needed or wanted here in the area and sent her a variety of recommendations for great things to see and do while here. Well, it just worked itself out in that process that we decided to meet. So Beth, her sweet husband and I all went out together yesterday. They actually treated me to a tasty sushi lunch and then off to the movie we all went. I have to admit as much as I love my son, seeing Eclipse with Beth was a lot more fun!
You know the friends I've made are half the gift that Stephenie has given me. The wonderful moms really are fun, supportive, kind, smart and beautiful women. What I love about this great group of woman are that they remind me everyday what being a friend is all about. Most of us have never met in person. Some of us never will since we are cities, states, and even oceans apart. We can't go out to dinner together or show up when it is someone birthday either. What we do is share our good times and our bad time, listen to each other and give advice. We hunt down little treasures and ship each other little treats now and then. From our chat forum, to a chat room, to packages in the mail, phone calls and text we connect. Some of the moms have gone to the Twilight Creation Conventions together, other moms like Beth and I have met for movies and two moms both in need of a helping hand are picking up their lives and moving across the country together. All this in the name of Twilight and friendship!

Twi-Thai

I found Stephenie's website soon after reading the books. If you haven't checked it out you MUST! The email address is www.stepheniemeyer.com , if you happen to need it. As I was exploring the site, and looking at the page dedicated to Twilight, when I innocently clicked on a tab that was labeled International. That was the first time I saw cover, after cover, after cover, of all the different Twilight books floating around out there in the world. That was the first time collecting International copies of these gifts crossed my mind.
Having a Dad doing work in Russia off and on, I emailed him the cover of the Russian copy, the book Title and Stephenie's name and a plea for a copy if Twilight in Russian. Sure enough on his next trip with the help of an interpreter he found a copy of the book for me.
Around the same time I had a friend heading off to do some work in Thailand. Again we headed back to Stephenie's site, found a picture of the book cover in Thai and off she went. Two weeks later I had that book in my hot little hands! That is the book shown above, and the first International book in my collection. The coolest part of this book besides the cover was the writing inside. Of course I can't read at all... not even one letter, but it is really cool to look at!
The other funny thing was story that my sweet friend Natalie came back with. She was the one that had to convince the merchants she really did want the book in their native language. She told them she wanted it in Thai but they just wouldn't give up! Over and over again they kept trying to give it to her in English! I am sure they were wondering what this big blond woman was going to do with this book in Thai when she clearly didn't speak or read it. LOL! I'm equally sure it was a bit of a communication issue but she has a iron will and came home with what I asked for. Thank you Natalie!

Falling in Love with Love and Heartbreak

I've sometimes wondered what drew me to this story. I think this quote from Twilight says a lot about my state of mind when I first read it.

"About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.195

You see shortly before reading Twilight my best friend, my boyfriend broke my heart. I knew from the start, he wasn't who I had ever pictured myself with, and maybe not who I would have ever planned to fall in love with, but like Bella somehow I found myself unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. So, watching Bella's story unfold I was there silently cheering for her and Edward.
Years have passed now and all is well. I guess Bella and I got both got our happy endings. Mine was a different happy ending then I had dreamed my dreamiest dreams of but happy none the less. As for my "him"... he too is out living the life he was meant to live. In my heart of hearts I am happy he is finding his true self.
But as I continued on through the book I found different pieces of me in many of the characters, like Alice and Esme, but even more to my surprise other characters like:

Edward,"I’m stronger than I thought. It’s nice to know."
Because aren't we all. And when you finally know it the world is a lot less scary and life seems much more manageable.

Charlie, LOL!
"Wait… Which one is Edwin?"
This is totally the mom part of me! I just can't keep all my kids friends straight!

And even Jasper, "I can feel what you’re feeling now — and you are worth it."
Oh, Jasper! I think that is one thing so many people forget, we are worth it!

And yet as the story goes on and we see Bella's heart shatter... Jacob fall in love... The pain and heartache of secrets...The ability to love unconditionally...The meaning of what family really is... and that somehow things always work out the way they should. How can you not love that?

One thing leads to another

When I first read Twilight it was mostly out of curiosity. My young teen daughter, the middle school girls in her class and even some moms who I was also friends with had read the series. Having seen Twilight in the theaters with all of them and being a fan of "children's books" -and a bit of a goth girl at heart- I decided to see what all the buzz was about. We all know what happened from there. What also happened was the collection of other items that found their way into my life. Lunch box, photos, dolls, tags and toys have also found their way to me.
They have almost all be gifted to me. So, like I explained yesterday, I feel loved. nt to me from around the state, country and world from other Twilight loving moms just like me. It would be hard to pick a favorite. I couldn't ever pick just one book out of my collection, and that is how I feel about my other goodies too. I'll be honest though there are some gifts that have just touch my heart a little deeper. Those are always the treats that are homemade with lots of love. The quilt hanging to the left of the bookcase and the banner hanging from the top shelf for the Eclipse premier are two examples in this photo alone. I also have tons of handmade cards, pocket people, necklaces and other little trinkets. In return I have been able to take all my crafting skills and return the favor for other Twilight Lovers too. And like I said, one thing has lead to many others...

The gift is more then the book, it's the story that goes with it.

My collection is filled with treasures I've hunted down, different printings I've picked up and gift brought to me from around the world. Basically if it was printed here in the states, hardbound or softbound, movie covers or original covers, collectors editions or trade paperbacks (those are the smaller sized ones you find in the grocery store) I have them all.
Well... all except for one. Funny enough the only one I don't have is Twilight hardbound!
I know you're thinking, what the...? What kind of collector can she be if she doesn't even have hardbound Twilight. That's like learning the alphabet with out the letter A. BUT... I'm waiting. I am waiting to find a first printing of Twilight and no other copy will do! So, I hunt, and I look, and I wait. Not that they aren't out there for $400-$600 in good condition, but I am a girl on a budget and I am sure many of you can relate to that.
So, as different printings come out I pick them up. I have a little Twilight Saga budget and I try and stick to it. -Try being the key word in that sentence.- The beauty for having a collection like this is I've had to "come out" to all my friends. 32 books is a lot to try and keep under wraps. Now everyone knows about my Twilove and I'm now being gifted books, magazines, candy, toys and anything Twirelated anyone can find for me. As I have said to my friends before it is an embarrassment of riches! And of course I am in HEAVEN....
What really make my heart beat a little faster is when someone brings me a book from far a away place. My dad brought me back a copy of Twilight, after working Russia. Then my friend Natalie searched for a copy while in Thailand. Then the husband of another friend found one in France for me. As you can guess the list goes on.
Beside having different copies of the books in all these languages with their cool covers and interesting writing, these books come with a gift. They come with the time and stories each person shares with me on their quest to find me these books. Some have come back having needed to argue with the locals that YES they really did want it in the local language NOT English. A friend in the Hong Kong airport was trying to pick up Twilight for me, and a totally none Twirelated book for herself, and ended up in like 5 different airport shops before having to break down buying them in two different places. Another friend recently told me the word Twilight confused the shop keepers in the Ukraine but the name Stephenie Meyer did not, LOL! So, besides having a wonderful collection of Stephenie's gifts, I have gifts from each of my friends. I have their time, love, stories, and the moments I get to share with them. It reminds me they of how special they really are, and that they're willing to do just about anything for me.

It all started with a story...

Of course we all know what story that is, Twilight.
It stole our hearts and within hours we were all in love with Edward as much as Bella was. Their chemistry overwhelmed us as we dreamed of lions, lambs and vampire baseball. By pure luck I waited long enough to read the books that by the time I read them the main four books had all been published. I read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn in what seemed like days and knew Stephenie Meyers must have somehow written these books just for me, they were like a gift!
Since reading those first pages a lot has changed! I'm sure more then a few of you can relate to this! Since I had borrowed the first three books I of course had to buy a copy of the whole set for my very own. Those I ordered via Stephenie's Site from Amazon. They came quickly and instantly found a spot on the top shelf of my bookcase. A place of honor where one of them still resides.
From there is was a bit of a whirlwind. You see I am up to 32 different copies of the different books. No, that wasn't a typo I really have 32 different, or unique copies, of the collection. Funny enough I never knew a thing about books before! Now, I would say when it comes to Stephenie's Twilight Saga books I am pretty in the know. Not that I know everything mind you, far from it actually but I'm always learning, collecting and asking questions everywhere I go! What I've struggled with though is that I haven't been able to find a easy place to see images, ask questions and get information. So, I am hoping that this will be a place I can share my information and with any luck it will be helpful for you. And if I am really lucky you'll be able to help me too!