Twidiet update...

I have assigned every pound I have to loose a character in the saga. So far I am 29.8 characters down. Yes, I have a lot to go but it is a fun way to measure my progress.
In just a few more pounds I will reach my first goal. As my little reward I am treating myself to my first real hair cut in years. My hair is now down to the middle of my butt. The reason I grew it out was so I could donate it to Locks of Love. I am so close to my goal now that I have had to research what I need to do to donate my hair. Luckily it is easy, goes to a great cause, and I get a fancy new hair cut to go celebrate taking care of me!

My Twilife...

It never stops amazing me how Twilight has changed my life. It makes me wonder what I would have done without it. What would my life be like without my twisisters? How would I channel my crafting energy? And would I ever have become a reader again? For so many years I had stopped reading for pleasure. Too many hours of too many days were spent reading Dr. Suess, involved farm animals, or were based on a PBS cartoon! I guess that is just part of being a mom though.
When I found twilight it was like a door opened. I found myself at the Library after that picking up a book here and there. Soon I found I was searching for books and other authors that my sister had recommended. As well as reading books that were coming out as movies that some of my favorite Twistars were also in. Here I am 18 months later with piles of books to read and waiting for more books (Including Stephenie's Newest saga book) to come out!
Twilight has given me a little piece of me back!

From Monterey to Norway to San Francisco and back again!

Here in Monterey this new "vegetarian" lifestyle goes on. Walking, drinking water, and making good food choices. This new life of mine leaves me feeling a bit like Jasper after he has first met Alice. Excited, nervous and a little unsure but decided.
In Norway a TM was recently visiting her family. After emailing back and fourth with her she all to kindly agreed to hunt down a copy of Twilight in Norwegian. Weeks later she came back home to the states and now I have book #39. To top it off she had won a little money while there and so she gifted me my book! I never stopped being amazed by how generous the TM's are. We've never even met and yet she did all this for me!
Around the corner is the San Francisco Twilight Convention. I tried to get my new Norwegian friend to come with me but she can come this year. So, I am trying to gather a group of girls to come with me from Monterey. Last year I had a great time! This year I'm going to see Jasper himself, Jackson Rathbone. For like one full minute I'll get to stand with him arm and arm and I'm sure I'll be excited, nervous and a little unsure but decided. I can't wait!

Birthdays...

Bella didn't want to get older. That, I don't mind. But my annual birthday party has become a bit of it's own event. Last year there were over 40 of us. LOTS OF FOOD. I have a big themed potluck every year. There is aways a great cake, wine, cocktails, games, prizes, goody bags, and more. So, as much as Bella was worried about her birthday I think, so am I.
I know I can plan for it. Save my weekly points. A nice fruit salad and a couple of eggs for breakfast, maybe a nice vegetarian salad for lunch but we've all been here before. Drinking lots of water with dinner helps too. Sometimes it's just hard not to worry just a little.
Then I think of my friends, supportive and loving. Even the ones 1000's of miles away are cheering me on. TM's sending me recipes and wishing me luck while I take each baby step toward my goal.
My goal! Yes... I have a variety of goals actually. And I have a variety of rewards for myself set up along the way too. My goal weight reward is the one I am already dreaming about though. I am planning a Twilight/Memorial Tattoo. Butterflies to honor of my Grams, and a quote, " I promise to love you every moment of forever." I may do flowers like the ones from the meadow, or Bella's wedding. I may incorporate Bella's or my Grams Wedding ring too, I'm not sure yet but just dreaming of it brings a smile to my face.
Hummm... Maybe that will help me stay focused on my birthday. I wonder if Bella knew she was going to become a vampire it would have helped her?

A newborn like Bella

OK, I know it is only day 3 but I feel a little like Bella as a Newborn. I feel so well informed I don't even want to eat, or in Bella's case drink, what I shouldn't. Maybe it is because I get SO MANY points but I just don't know how I am supposed to eat all this and use those weekly points. I'm sure they'll come in handy for dinners out, birthdays and such but I'll admit I've never had this happen before. So, with any luck the first time I truly encounter my first challenge, like Bella I'll be able to turn away and follow my heart.

Sisters not siblings

Finding friends online to talk to, and share with, has been a source of strength for me. Whether it's on Facebook, Weighlossbuddies or Twilightmoms I have built relationships with people like me. Moms, friends, and Twilightlovers. Some are tall and curvy, others petite like pixies, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. What I love though is that all of them are supportive and love me for who I am unconditionally. And like Rose is to Alice, and Alice is to Bella, and Bella to Rose, they are my sisters.

A Jasper Day

Happy New year my friends! With the new year come just one resolution. It is time to loose some of this extra weight. So, I've joined Weight Watchers and am letting the Cullen's be my guide.
You know the first few days of a dietary change are the hardest. There is excitement and nervousness. Each meal presents it's own challenges and all the while your roaming eye spies juicy bits just sitting there looking irresistible.
Today was my first day back using Weight Watchers. Learning how to use a point system, and the value of each food has been the first big challenge. Knowing this is the right change not only for me, but for my family, has been the reward though. In moments of weakness I just envision Edward sucking the venom from Bella's arm and finding the power to stop. I'm finding the power to stop. I'm finding the the power to follow my heart. I'm finding the power to be the woman I know I am.

From Haloween to Xmas

I am so lame... I can't believe that last time I posted was before Halloween! Now of course it is Xmas and I just put up my tree! And of course over the past two months Stephenie's Gifts keep on giving, just like my wonderful friends have! This week I received TWO TWITREASURES!
The first one is New Moon, hand carried over the sea and across the lands all the way from... Macedonia. Of course this little gem is written in Macedonian. I can't read any of it and even some of the letters are new to me too! Gifted to me by my friend Natalie for watching her two little dollies. Thank you Natalie!!!
The other some of you may have seen before, the white cover English New Moon. My friend Vicki who lives in England sent it to me. In exchange her 15 year old daughter is getting quite the Taylor L. gift pack! Crossing my fingers she loves it as much as my 15 year old did!!!
Oh, and the doll holding it is my male child! He may think I am a little crasy (the female child does) but he is very understanding. I think he likes that I collect something and have fun with it. He is a huge reader too so I think he kinda gets it.
Well, if I don't make it back before Xmas Happy Holidays everyone.
Hope Santa brings you everything your wishing for!

A haunted Halloween card exchange...

The part of making the exchange cards I like the most is being creative. I love trying to think up different angles on the story and characters we know so well. Over the past year doing the card exchanges I have also incorporated my own little fanfic pieces. Since none of you got my cards (well, maybe one or two of you but for the most part none of you.) I thought I post what I included in them.

First a letter from Angela to Bella:
September, 2010
Dear Bella,
How are you? I miss you madly!!! I heard you got really sick while you and Edward were on your honeymoon! Gosh, that had to be the WORST! But before that, was it everything you had dreamed of? I want to hear about where you went and everything you did. Knowing the Cullen’s I am sure it was totally over the top. Knowing how crazy in love Edward is with you I’m sure it was super romantic and beautiful! I have to hear all about it!
Getting ready for school has been nuts. Ben and I both still have so much to do and yet we leave in 2 more days. Just when we think we have everything wrapped up the school sends us something else and of course there is one, or ten, more things to do. Are you and Edward still going to go to New Hampshire? I know school doesn’t start there for almost a month. I hope you are feeling better by then!
I wish we could hang out before I have to leave but Alice said you are still contagious and have lost your voice and everything. So, anyway that is why I am writing you. I figured if I couldn’t see you I could at least make sure to say goodbye before I took off. You know you really are the best friend I’ve ever had. You never made me feel weird or like and outsider, and in our high school that was huge! You were always honest with me and most importantly always watched out for me. Somehow you always knew just what to say, or not say. You moving up here from Arizona may have been hard for you but was a total gift for me. I love you!
So, now for the… the hard part…
I have something I have wanted to tell you for a little while now. It is something about my family that I found out kind of recently myself. Do you remember how I told you my mom moved her from Massachusetts before I was born? I told you about her three sisters who were coming out for my 18th birthday, and how they had never been able to come all the way out here before so it was a big deal for my mom and all of us. Well they came… Oh, Bella, I wish I could talk to you right now!
OK here it is, my aunts are witches. I know, it sounds totally crazy! I really couldn’t believe it myself at first but they actually really are. Not like big nose, green skin storybook witches but real witches! They make potions and cast spells and everything. Not the bad kind though. They kind of are like old fashion medicine woman with a little extra… something. Do you know what I mean? Am I totally freaking you out?
AND, are you ready for this? They are like 99.9% sure I am going to be one too! I’m not sure how I feel about it and it is kinda weirding me out. Apparently it kind of skipped my mom and somehow I got it, this…gift. My mom saw some signs, I guess you would call them (although she they haven’t totally explained that to me either) and new she had to call my aunts so they could explain this all to me, and teach me the things I need to know, but I am no quite ready yet, although I don’t really understand that totally either.
I haven’t talked to about this is Ben yet but he always tells me how I’m so “magical” maybe he is more right then he thought. LOL! He also doesn’t know this yet but during winter break I will be doing an “internship” on the East Coast. I think for now I am just going to tell him it is for school for now but my Aunts want to have me spend a week or two with each of them. One of my Aunts actually lives in New Hampshire too! So, if all goes well and you guys end up in school there like you had planned I would love to see you two.
I know this is all a lot to take in but if you could just keep this between us for know I would appreciate it. I just want to be able to tell Ben before anyone else knows. Feel free to write or email me. I’ll understand if you don’t though. I hope this isn’t freaking you out! Somehow I just have faith you of anyone will somehow understand.
Love you,
Ang

And in return a Halloween card from Bella to Angela. This came with a photo of Renesmee and some sweet little treats and a Twilight pin:

October 2010
Oh Angela,
How did I not guess? Don’t worry; I am not freaked out at all! Funny enough in the crazy world we live in I’m honestly not even that surprised. Is that even weirder then you being a witch altogether? Forks must have some crazy magic because nothing has ever been quite like it seems.
So, how are you, school and things with Ben? Have you told him yet? I wish we were going to be in New Hampshire while your were there, but we’ve decided with me getting so sick and everything we are going to put moving off until next semester. The school was really understanding with me getting sick and then us taking in Nessie, so we will be going out at the end of January.
My life with the Cullen’s… well now as a Cullen, has even worked it’s magic on me. I never thought I could be this happy! Esme, remodeled a little cottage for us in the woods behind the big house. Edward and I love being close to them but still having our privacy. Since we’ve come home things have been pretty crazy, lots of visitors but now most of them have gone.
Well, all of them have gone except for one. Edward had a sister he was not raised with. He hardly even knew her because they were both so young when their parents passed. Just as they found each other again she had an accident while we were in Brazil. It was just so sad, just as Edward had found his sister she passed away. The only family she had besides Edward, was her beautiful daughter Renesmee. So, of course Edward and I knew we had to take her in, and of course Carlisle and Esme totally agreed. So, in just one summer I graduated High School, got married, got deathly ill and became an Aunt/Mom. –I’m sending a picture of our little monster too. Isn’t see is a doll? We just love her and the whole house revolves around her now.
With Halloween just weeks away I am actually making a Halloween costume for the first time in like 6 years. Nessie (that is what everyone calls her) must be hanging out with Jacob and the kids on the reservation to much -He is like the new supper nanny, who knew!?!- because she wants to be a wolf. You know all those tribe legends! So, I got the ears, and tail made. The rest is going to be the real challenge though because I so don’t sew!
Well, Nessie is going to be up from her nap soon. I should go and get her snack ready and the clothes out of the drier before she is up and running again. Write or email me anytime. Phone calls are almost a lost cause with Nessie’s busy little body around but I do seem to be able to sneak in a email or letter here and there.
Ang, I know everything will work out for both of us! Hang in there and know I am here anytime you need to talk, vent or just share.
Love,
Bella

Then inside the card "Bella made Angela" She wrote, "Dear Angela, So, I have to ask are you going out as a good or bad witch this year? LOL! Edward wants me to go out with him as a vampire. That is what he always goes as. Miss you! Love, Bella"



And so now I wish you all the Twitacular Halloween, filled with visits from Vampires, Werewolves and Witches galore!

My TM's...

My Twilight Mom, sisters are:
Wicked, witty, funny, sweet
Charming, thoughtful, nasty, neat
Evil, loving, and talented too
They mean as must to me as each of you do!

Let the filming begin!

That's right Twifans it's time for the filming of Breaking Dawn to finally begin.
So, I just had to share that a "superhuman" friend of mine has been blogging too. Lucky thing she is, she lives in Baton Rouge! Today she happen to stumble upon the 100 Monkeys trailer and found her way to the film set! So, If you want to see cool photos and hear what's happening in town from a local check out http://twilightchangedmylife.blogspot.com/

Panties in a Twist

Yes, that's right my panties are in a twist!!! I know banned book week is over but I just have to say how insane I think it is to ban books at all! For you fact catchers out there did you know that TWILIGHT was 5th on Top Ten Most Frequently Challenged Books of 2009. "5. Twilight (series) by Stephenie Meyer
Reasons: religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group" Really people, REALLY? I don't remember Bella and Edward ever going to church or temple, or judging others for their beliefs. Sexually explicit... Apparently they haven't seen the Black Dagger Brotherhood yet? LOL! Unsuited to age group... damn, I am almost 40. If I am not old enough now when will I be old enough?
So, although I've missed the official American Library Associations Banned Book Week, I am encouraging everyone to take 5 minutes this week to support your local library. If you have the time and a few dollars maybe even buy a copy of one of last years most challenged books and donate it to your local branch!

Top ten most frequently challenged books of 2009

Out of 460 challenges as reported to the Office for Intellectual Freedom
1. ttyl; ttfn; l8r, g8r (series), by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: drugs, nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group
2. And Tango Makes Three, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson
Reasons: homosexuality
3. The Perks of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
Reasons: anti-family, drugs, homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, suicide, unsuited to age group
4. To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
Reasons: offensive language, racism, unsuited to age group
5. Twilight (series) by Stephenie Meyer
Reasons: religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group
6. Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group
7. My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
Reasons: homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexism, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group, violence
8. The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things, by Carolyn Mackler
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group
9. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group
10. The Chocolate War, by Robert Cormier
Reasons: nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited to age group

Now that three months have gone by since my Grams passed I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life again. A variety of things, like this blog, just got set aside with her passing. This morning I was writing to a friend of mine in England about the new WHITE cover Twilight Saga, and I felt that Twispark I hadn't felt in months. It brought back the same feeling I had posting just months ago and I knew it was time to get back to Stephenie's gift.
Recently I've started getting back to Twilight mom's too. I did a Halloween card exchange and was thrilled I have had such a good response to the cards I made. Earlier in the August I did a End of Summer exchange too. I got several great cards! One of them had to find it's way to me from Italy. Well, I then contacted that TM and we've done a unofficial exchange. She sent me a copy of New Moon in ITALIAN! (Which is one of the two books I have really wanted!!!) In return I am sending her the Animated version of Twilight and a few other goodies. It's so fun to be able to do these exchanges and share my passion with others and enjoy that they can also share their passion with me.
Another Japanese Twilight is on it's way too. The friend that brought me my first one was able to get another one from Japan. WoooHoooo! So, one of these days I know it will find it's way to me too!
AND FINALLY... a Spanish Twilight should be in my hot little hands by the end of the week. Not that I couldn't get one here at the book store, but having these different copies given (some hand carried others mailed from far, far away) to me has become a whole part of the collecting for me. So, my dear friend Karen went down to Argentina to spend break with her sisters and said she had Twilight on her list!
It seems that I'm getting on my feet a little more each day. Twilight once again being a little spark of light in it. My sisters still supporting and loving me. Stephenie gifts still giving.

Picking up the pieces and moving forward.

When my Grams passed she took a part of my heart with her. What I didn't realize at the time is she left part of hers with me in its place. And now I know her in a different way. I hear her voice like Bella heard Edwards when her heart was broken too. I feel compassion for others pain and sorrow like Jasper would be able to feel mine if I he could step out of Twilight and be with me for just a few minutes. I feel love in the deepest darkest corners of my soul where I didn't know light could even shine the way Edward knew he would love Bella every moment of forever.

Still recovering from heart break

For the last few weeks I've been feeling like Bella. You know, after Edward left her in New Moon. Those days... weeks... months... when she could hardly leave the house. When she lived with her arms wrapped around her chest just to keep her heart from bursting out of her body. Well, I miss my grandma that much. Nothing seems the same without her and although I don't cry everyday anymore it is still hard to breath.
I am trying to get back into my regular life though. I'm looking for my Jacob, just someone to distract me. And if he happens to be really, really HOT so be it! AND if it happens to be someone who falls totally in love with me, I'm willing to take one for the team.
So, it may take me a while to get back into the groove but I'll get there and I have to thank each of you for standing by me.
(((((HUGS)))))

Sisters... the gift that keeps on giving

Apparently my butterfly story is not rare. Since my butterfly posting friend and TM sisters have shared some amazing stories with me. I've heard stories, gotten card after card, and been able to share this gift my grandma has given me. For those without their own story, they have shared these past two weeks with me and have embraced the beauty of my butterflies too.
So, I've decided to mark this moment in my life with another kind of gift. It's one I am very fond of and have been blessed with more then once before. I am getting a tattoo. Of course my butterflies will be there, Two white ones I think...they will be the focus. I would like to add some of my Twi-love to it too though. I have been thinking a lot of the quote, " I promise to love you every moment of forever" but that is a lot of writing... I've thought of chess piece representing Bella's change... but that doesn't excite me either. I've though of having the butterflies flying over, or landing on, purple flowers like the ones in the meadow, but I'm not sold. And of course anything with feathers would just make me giggle...so far nothing has quite fit.
I have faith something will come to me when the time is right and so I wait...

Family and friends

Family and friends have been sending their love making this hard time more bearable. The loss of my grandmother reminds me that enjoying life really IS important. I know my grandmother is watching over me glad I'm writing and finding my passion. Somehow at this time of loss I find inspiration in that and it helps me keep going.
Easing back into life.
More soon.

A different kind of gift

My grandmother and I have always been very close. Since I became a mom 15 years ago we've become even closer. I also live 2 minutes away from her house and have been her little errand girl for some time now. Well, with her passing I had one of those Ah-ha moments yesterday that kind of helped me.
Before my grandmother passed this weekend we had been talking about how we had been thinking about my Great Aunt Helen who had passed. She kept thinking she was seeing my aunt out of the corner of her eye, and was dreaming of her so much it was really standing out in her mind. That very day I had seen a flitter of white out my bedroom that looked like a white butterfly. But when I looked nothing was out there. Then when I walked into the kitchen the same thing happened again out the back door. For some reason that made me think of my Aunt Helen. Then when she passed we were picking out her outfit and I told my mom and Aunt we should bury her with a purse and her makeup, and some other fun things. What bag did I happen to find first, one covered in Butterflies. Then my Aunt had me try on a ring and asked me to wear it for her since it didn't fit her and it is an Opal and gold butterfly. (Opal was my Grandmas birthstone.) Around this time I finally said, OK Auntie Helen I get it and laughed to myself. As I am telling my family this story I see another butterfly over my Aunt's shoulder. Later my DD opened a jewelry box and found 4 or 5 butterfly pins. What was so weird is this must be all the stuff she had in the whole house because she wan't really a butterfly person. I never thought of either my Aunt or grandmother that way but it all started when my Grandma and I were talking about my Aunt.
So, I've decided that was my sign and somehow as sad as I am that makes it a heck of a lot easier thinking my Aunt was there waiting for her.

Due to my grandmother passing, I'll be taking a break from the blog for a few days. Thank you all for your well wishes and understanding.

Fantastic FanFic!

One of my Christmas in July packages included a story that one of the TM's wrote. She did a fantastic job and it was great! Her story is based on the characters in The Twilight Saga and takes place after Breaking Dawn has ended. It involves a gift Bella gives Edward and the path that takes them on to in an attempt to give him a look at his human life. I was one of four people to have the honor of getting a copy, and one of four people to ever read the story.
Stories like this are considered "fanfiction". Since I don't know a lot about fanfiction I decided to look it up. This is what I got from Wikipedia,
"Fan fiction (alternately referred to as fanfiction, fanfic, FF, or fic) is a broadly-defined term for fan labor regarding stories about characters or settings written by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creator. Works of fan fiction are rarely commissioned or authorized by the original work's owner, creator, or publisher; also, they are almost never professionally published. Fan fiction, therefore, is defined by being both related to its subject's canonical fictional universe and simultaneously existing outside the canon of that universe.[1] Most fan fiction writers assume that their work is read primarily by other fans, and therefore tend to presume that their readers have knowledge of the canon universe (created by a professional writer) in which their works are based."
As I searched for fanfiction I found whole sites dedicated to these stories and some for specific book, movie and TV series like Harry Potter, Star Trek and Twilight. What I think is so cool about these stories is that they are giving thousands, and thousands of people the opportunity to write freely with characters they already adore. What was special about the story my creative friend wrote was she actually incorporated a variety of characters from more then one series together to create a history for Edward. It was absolutely the most clever combination of ideas I can imagine, and I thank her for sharing her gift with me.